Not Well

I know I'm not well when.

I rather stay up and wait, for nothing, when the bed is calling.
I have so may things to say but to no one.
My chest is heavy
Nothing really means anything.
Hopelessness seems like hope.
I could hear my heart beating
I feel like a little boy being denied his requests/rights
I can't speak my heart
Everything seems like going against me.
Keeping my eyes wide open is becoming a burden

I need help, or maybe a hug