Why Do I Have To Make A Comeback?

It has been almost a month since I’ve written anything. Normally the time when I stop writing is when I have no opinions or when I’m not moved or was it because I just don’t have some private time on my own? Whatever.
So, now that I’m back, there must be something at the back of my head, no? Actually are a few things
The first one would be reality. In my fantasy land reality is equivalent of doomsday. And the reality is – she’s not mine, never will be .
The second one would also be reality – no matter how much you care or think or whatever about her, she will still wake up next to another guy, a friend maybe.
The third…reality again. When you are trying your really best to self-mutilate yourself in order to be free, reality came knowing and offered you his services:

REALITY: I tell you what, let me take the suffering away from you.
ME: Err…dude what made you think that it’s a suffering?
REALITY: Okay done. Hope you understand.

And so I thought I’m damn good at self-mutilating.

Distance

I hate distance.

I simply hate being distanced away or feel like I'm being pushed away from things that matter to me.

Maybe I'm just paranoid.

Maybe I should get hold of myself

Maybe I should stop thinking about how I feel.

How?

Maybe I should dedicate my life to you and ensure that you'll be happily ever after without me